


You Were All I Ever Longed For

by starlight_starbright



Series: Civil War Ficlets [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blowjobs, Explicit Sexual Content, Love, M/M, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:44:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5300804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlight_starbright/pseuds/starlight_starbright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little drabble I thought up after watching the Civil War trailer a billion times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Were All I Ever Longed For

"I can't keep fighting Tony," Steve says, throwing his shield on the floor and ripping at the zipper to his suit. "I can't keep . . . trying to fucking _kill_ my friend. And Natasha! I can't hurt her, not ever. She’s my friend. They’re . . . my friends. I—I _can't_ . . ." The stupid zipper is caught and Steve can't get it undone and he feels like crying.

"You're not trying to kill him," Bucky says, pushing Steve's hands away and undoing the zipper himself. His hair is pulled back in a tight bun and his suit looks flawless, not even a rip. That shows how little the Black Panther got close enough to even touch him. "You're not trying to kill him, Steve. You're trying to . . . make him understand and it's turned violent and that's . . . not anyone's fault. You know Tony, he wants what he thinks is best for people. Look what he did with Ultron. He's just trying to keep everybody safe. And so are you." And Steve relaxes then as Bucky eases his shirt up over his head. “You’re trying to protect me. And I could never put into words how much that means to me.”

He's right. Tony is trying to protect people in the best way he knows how, which just so happens means he wants Steve's best friend arrested. Which Steve is never going to let happen.

"I won't let them take you, Buck," Steve says for the millionth time. "I've gone too long without you. I love you too much. I _can't_ —" he doesn't finish, Bucky's lips silencing him. And it always makes Steve's head spin that they can do this now. That Bucky is his.

"They won't. I know you won't let it happen. And neither will Scott, Sam, Wanda, or Clint. Neither will I. I would rather die than be locked up again. But we can't keep going like this. Someone is going to die. And I don't want that." Buck looks him directly in the eyes then, cupping Steve's face with his metal hand. "Not for me." And Steve breaks.

"I can't lose you, Buck," he whispers brokenly. "Not again." And as Steve wills himself not to fall apart, Bucky wraps his arms around him and holds him close.

"You won't, Stevie. I'm right here." And Bucky pulls back and kisses him then, setting Steve's world back on its axis, reminding Steve that not only is he fighting for friendship and freedom, but he's also fighting for love.

"Okay," Steve whispers.

"Okay?" Bucky asks, studying Steve's face.

"Yeah." And Steve kisses him again, and then Bucky takes his hand.

"Shower?" the brunet asks, looking up at Steve.

"Yes," Steve says, grinning. Showers mean shower sex, and Steve is totally okay with that. Because they haven't had time for intimacy in weeks.

They're at Clint's farmhouse, the only safe place they knew to go. Steve and Bucky are sharing a room with a bathroom attached, Sam and Scott are sharing a room, and Wanda has her own room. This house is giant, Steve will give Clint credit for that. But they have three kids and Steve knows that he and Bucky are going to have to be quiet, which they're not good at. Steve knows it's going to be near impossible to be silent as soon as Bucky pushes him up against the cool tile wall in the shower.

"Can you be quiet for me, doll?" Bucky murmurs, kissing down the column of Steve's neck.

"Mmhmm," Steve chokes out, losing words as Bucky starts to touch him. The metal hand is cold, but warms up quickly under the hot spray of the shower.

Steve almost convulses when Bucky’s hand brushes over his cock, hard and yearning. He needs this. _They_ need this. No battling friends or government accords or running for their lives, just Steve and Bucky alone and in love. And Bucky drops to his knees, looking up at Steve with a smirk before swallowing him down, expertly licking and sucking his way down to the base and then back up.

Bucky knows the best ways to pull Steve apart, and blowjobs are one of them. It’s something about the intimacy, the way Bucky looks at him in adoration, the way Bucky's jerking himself off in earnest like this is getting him off as much as it is Steve. And if that’s not the hottest thing Steve's ever seen, he doesn’t know what is.

“Buck,” Steve warns, biting his bottom lip, trying to keep quiet. He’s going to come and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to hold in his moans. He can't fucking help it—Bucky is just that good. And the brunet is letting out little _uh, uh, uh_ ’s as he gets himself off, becoming more sloppy with his movements. Saliva runs down his chin and he looks up, eyes glazed over with desire and lust, and he redoubles his efforts. “Bucky, I—” And then Bucky swallows around him and Steve loses it, gripping Bucky's hair tight and tensing up before relaxing all over and emptying himself into his lover’s mouth.

Knees still wobbly, Steve moves so he can get his mouth on Bucky, and Bucky comes as soon as Steve gets his mouth on him. And Steve loves it. Loves the way Bucky comes apart and grips his hair hard enough to hurt. It’s good. It’s always good with Bucky. 

Later, when they’re curled up in bed, safe in each other’s arms, Steve allows himself to break. He may be Captain America outside, but in here—with Bucky, alone—he’s just Steve. Just that kid from Brooklyn who doesn’t know how to back down from a fight. And here, in the safety of Bucky’s arms, he can drop the shield.

“Shh,” Bucky soothes, fingers carding through Steve's hair. “Shh, baby. You’re okay. We’re okay.” And Steve is shaking, falling apart while Bucky holds him together. Because what they’re doing is killing him inside, but he can't stop. He doesn’t have a choice. If Steve doesn’t fight this, they’ll take Bucky away.

And Tony thinks of it as betrayal, but if Steve hadn't helped Bucky, _that_ would have been betrayal. Because while Tony and the rest of them are his friends, they really are, Bucky is different. Even without feelings involved, Bucky is Steve's best friend. Bucky was the only person other than Steve’s mom to notice him before the serum. Bucky is . . . everything.

He’s everything and Steve knows that Tony and Nat and Rhodey don’t understand that. He knows what it looks like—that he got his old best friend back and fuck the rest of them—but that’s not true. Steve loves them— _all_ of them—but he can't let them take Bucky away again. Not after everything that he’s been through. Not after seventy years of torture and brainwashing and freezing, for what? Just to be locked up for something he couldn’t control?

Absolutely not.

Steve can't do that. He _won't_ do that. Not to Bucky. He’ll fight to the end for him. Until he dies or this is over and they can live their lives. Because now that he has Bucky, he’s not letting go, not ever. 

“I love you,” Steve whispers quietly. The shaking has turned to trembling, his cheeks dry and throat scratchy. 

“I love you,” Bucky says back, kissing Steve’s forehead.

They’re together now, for better or for worse, till the end of the line.


End file.
